Tokyo Disney: Truly the Happiest Place on Earth

I FINALLY had the opportunity to visit Tokyo DisneySea last week, no thanks to my co-workers (but that's a story for another day). After growing up 20 minutes from Disneyland in California, I can't remember a time when I went to a Disney theme park and didn't instantly know where to go and what to see. At DisneySea, I walked in and was instantly lost. It was kind of nice. So after seeing Disney from a fresh perspective, and a Japanese one at that, I stumbled upon the top secret Disney formula for designing an attraction. All you need are four key elements:

1. Think of some insane place to visit (ie. a pirate cave, outer space, the depth of the ocean, an old mine shaft, the center of the Earth...)
2. Treat it as if it is a totally normal place to be visiting (ala Star Tours)
3. Normal, that is, until SOMETHING GOES HORRIBLY WRONG (the pirates get rowdy, the train runs away, Briar Rabbit gets captured, attacks, alarms, flashing red lights galore)
4. And finally of course, the narrow escape (whew, that was a close one!)

There you have it, the perfect ride. Who said Americans don't love conflict? We genuinely do. If there's no problem, we are not happy. That may go miles in explaining our foreign policy at the moment, but maybe that's just me. Case in point.... At DisneySea there is a show out on the central lake of the park. This show consists of music and dancing and assorted Disney characters aboard various sea craft. You've got your schooners and ships, even jet skis. There are kites and flags--all sorts of visual props of course. And then...we'll that's it actually. Eventually the music dies down, the boats sail off and everybody wanders away. Soooooooooo incredibly anticlimatic. I was completly unsatisfied. Contrast this with the show at Disneyland in California, "Fantasmic". In that show, Mickey Mouse is having a dream, as mice tend to do, no big deal really, completely normal. Until, oh no, SOMETHING GOES HORRIBLY WRONG! A witch has infiltrated the dream and scary, scary things start happening. Smoke, strobe lights and yes, CONFLICT. Enough conflict that a narrow escape seems almost impossible, but nonetheless is achieved. How does that mouse do it? Now that's the stuff dreams are made of.

So there you have it, Disney Exposed. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go work on my idea for a new ride involving a fireworks factory and panda bears. Panda bears with a penchant for playing with matches, that is.....